A Growing Process

Its amazing to think what has happened in my life in the past year. I am surprised by what I have survived. There were times when I didnt think I would. I have experienced more than I ever thought I could handle and yet I did. I often wondered, and sometimes still do, if God was punishing me. I just couldnt get my head above water. Every time I felt like things were going to be okay something drastic would happen. God broke me. I am learning what His grace is. Our punishment has already been taken. He brought me to a place where I had no where to go but to Him. People have often said that to me and sometimes it really pissed me off. I didnt want anyone to preach to me. I know all the answers. Intellectually, I know what the gospel is about. I can tell anyone about God's grace and mercy. Everyone deserved it but me. In my desperation, I had no where to turn. I tried to run but it didnt work. I got a tattoo almost three years ago that means Beloved and Worthy of Love. I got it because I wanted to believe that. Now I am starting to. I dont think that this is the end. God took me to a place where I had to trust Him. I am growing and maturing but it is a process.